Most people would agree that writing love notes to your spouse is a simple but powerful way to make him/her feel loved and special. Why then do so many of us struggle to do it on a regular basis?
Because it’s not the idea of a love note that’s the problem. It’s the actual writing part that’s hard.
Coming up with new things to say to someone you’ve known for decades can be challenging and time consuming.
But it’s also worth it.
In fact, creating positive interactions, such as those that result from a love note, can mean the difference between a happy marriage and one that simply exists.
The good news is that you don’t have to be Shakespeare to write love notes. Heck, you don’t even have to be a greeting-card writer! And you don’t need much time either.
Here are 12 practical tips to make writing love notes a regular part of your marriage:
1. Use quotes from poems, songs, TV shows, movies, etc.
You don’t have to come up with the right words on your own. Borrow lines from your favorite love songs, movies, or TV shows.
It’s even better if a quote has sentimental value to your marriage. One song lyric or movie line can evoke fond memories and bring a smile that lasts all day.
2. Borrow from the greats.
Couples have been writing love notes to each other for thousands of years. Get inspiration from their words…or just copy them. Yes, it’s okay to plagiarize. It’s a love note, not an essay for your 10th-grade English class!
It’s also your sentiment and effort that matters most, not your writing ability or originality.
I’m a Christian, and I often pull beautiful lines from the Bible to write notes to my wife. For example, chapter 31 of Proverbs is loaded with compliments and encouragement for wives. I just copy the the line, cite it, and tell my wife how the words made me think of her. Not once has she rejected it because I didn’t come up with the line myself.
Shakespeare is another great source. Just run an internet search for “romantic Shakespeare quotes,” and you’ll find hundreds of lines to sample.
3. Keep it short and sweet.
Love notes don’t have to be long or elaborate. A simple sentence or two can be plenty meaningful.
4. Be specific.
Be specific with what you appreciate about your spouse. Instead of simply saying “I love you,” try to identify the specific qualities or actions that you admire. You could write something like, “I love the way you always make time for me, even when you’re busy with work. It makes me feel so loved and appreciated.”
5. Share a memory
Recall a special moment or event that the two of you shared. For example, “Remember that time we went on that road trip and got lost. That’s still one of my favorite memories with you.”
6. Be authentic.
Don’t force yourself to sound overly poetic or romantic if that’s not your style. Instead, focus on expressing your feelings in a way that feels authentic. This will make your love note more genuine and meaningful.
7. Be creative
Writing love notes doesn’t have to be a chore. Make it fun!
Experiment with different colors, shapes, and styles. If you’re feeling artistic, add a little drawing or doodle to your note. Don’t worry if your drawing skills resemble a kindergartner. That makes it funnier and more endearing!
8. Write in different formats.
Love notes don’t have to be written on fancy stationery or in a long, flowery letter. You can write on a sticky note, a normal piece of paper, or even a napkin.
9. Use humor.
A little humor can go a long way in making your note more memorable. You could write a silly message that makes your spouse laugh, or use a pun or a play on words to add a bit of fun to his/her day.
10. Share your dreams and aspirations.
Writing a love note is a great opportunity to share your dreams and aspirations with your spouse. You could write about the future you envision for your marriage or the goals you have for your family. Sharing your hopes and dreams reminds your spouse that you are committed to building a life together and that you believe in your future as a couple.
11. Make it a surprise.
One of the best things about writing a love note is the element of surprise. Leave your love note in unexpected places, like in your spouse’s lunch bag or on the dashboard of the car.
You could even hide it somewhere in the house for your spouse to find, like under a pillow or in a kitchen cabinet. Making it a surprise adds a sense of excitement and anticipation.
12. Be consistent.
In order to make writing love notes a habit, it’s important to be consistent. Set a goal to write once a week, once a month, or any other time frame, and then stick to it. This will help you build momentum and make it easier to continue the habit over time.
Love notes are small gestures with big impact.
To summarize, love notes are a simple yet effective way to keep your marriage strong and healthy. I hope these tips demonstrate how the writing process doesn’t need to be perfect or complicated. Your effort and intentionality are far more important than the words you write.